Magaluf 2023

The title sounds a lot more thrilling than this actually will be. Not because I didn’t thoroughly enjoy my time, but because Magaluf has a reputation of parties and alcohol and rowdiness that we didn’t engage in. We tried to, go out on the piss one night, but apparently PMS mixed with alcohol mixed with your first holiday alone just results in crying. Don’t ask why, I’m not really sure why I cried.

Anyway, Magaluf 2023. A week in Spain, no parents, no responsibility. Me, my boyfriend, the sun, the sand and the sea. We flew out last Friday, the holiday itself was pretty spontaneous. We realised we were both in adult jobs, could actually afford it and thought this would be our only chance before we’re struggling students again. So we booked it, we saved and we went. Going into it I thought the airports would be the most stressful part, trying to navigate security and juggling times and eating and finding our way to somewhere we don’t know in a place we really don’t know. It wasn’t that bad really, before I think I’ve just mindlessly followed my parents and let them do the work unaware of how straightforward it is. We had hours to kill, as you always do in airports, I won’t bore you with the details of every shop we walked into, walked around and left without buying anything.

I’m quite a big fan of flying, I’m not an adrenaline junkie by any means, but I kind of enjoy the flipping feeling of take-off and the few hours where I can just sit and read without being tempted to look at my phone. Jack on the other hand hadn’t been on a plane for 13 years, cannot stand that flipping feeling and the smallest of judder of the plane sent him into a panic. If you ask him, he’ll tell you the turbulence was terrible. But it wasn’t all that bad, the flight home was much worse and even then, lasted maybe 10 minutes and there was only one dramatic drop that was enough to freak me out. Not that you can freak out when your boyfriend is on the verge of a panic attack in the seat next to you.

I found the most stress set in when we actually got into the hotel room. Everything was lovely, big tv, nice view of the McDonald’s across the road. I was overtired by this point, and I assumed the beds in the hotel room would be a double. I was wrong, just two singles pushed together with separate duvets. I was crying by that point, thinking I’d fucked it up and so excited to share a bed for a week. Jack was great, he was straight down to reception asking if we could get a double. It was midnight by the time we got to the hotel, so there wasn’t much they could do. Everything was sorted by the second day though. Once that was stressed, I walked into the bathroom and found a cockroach. I was crying again. Jack killed it with his shoe, but we ended up with blood and guts in the shower until the cleaners came, we thought if we’d left it they’d clean extra and make sure there weren’t any more for us. We didn’t see another one after that. We were telling our parents as it was happening, we had my mum telling us to go and complain and Jack’s laughing at us telling us it was no big deal.

On the first full day the stress had dissipated. We spent the day wandering the little town we were in, reading every menu we saw. The hotel we were staying at was a 2 minute walk to the beach and the strip, a road of restaurants and bars along the coastline that gets particularly loud during the summer nights. I very quickly located the nearest Starbucks, a superpower of mine, and we sat there for a while when it got too hot. There was also a Taco Bell right next door which we got straight afterwards; a fast food place we went to 3 times as it’s very rare in the UK, and can now very confidently say is shit. We ended up back in the hotel by the pool for a couple of hours after that.

The Sunday we got the bus into Palma. The biggest city in Majorca. A city that probably would’ve been lovely if it wasn’t raining, we hadn’t taken a wrong turn and ended up in the middle of nowhere and I hadn’t spent the entire day feeling a bit sick. The downsides of free buffet breakfast. In the evening we ended back in Calvia, the area we were staying, in Blackbeard’s Bar and Grill in which we ate more food than we could handle. The restaurant was incredible though, we sat outside on a bench on the sand, could see the sea just beyond and had a musician singing and playing guitar just inside. They specialised in Rum infused BBQ sauce, much like TGI Fridays but the chicken wings we had as a starter were the nicest chicken wings I’ve ever had. We had burgers for mains.

The Monday we didn’t do much at all, a day on the beach with a Fanta Lemon and an ice cream. I managed to finish two books, the second of which I finished just as we were landing back in Birmingham. I took a break from my Fantasy streak, having been in the middle of reading the Red Queen series by Victoria Aveyard to read Happy Place by Emily Henry, the newest novel by my favourite romance author. A book that was just as adorable as her others and was incredibly apt for a holiday. The second was The No-Show by Beth O’Leary another one of my go-to authors. A book I thought would be pure romance but was so much more than that and I was hooked on. Hopefully, I’ll get round to reviewing these soon.

I couldn’t tell you what we ate that day besides a Caramel Frappuccino and some ice cream. I know we went to McDonald’s a couple of days to try everything we don’t have at home, once was a McExtreme and a three-cheese burger. The former of which was grim. The second was us sharing 25 nuggets with a buffalo sauce and another garlicky-ranch like sauce we don’t get here. The third was our final day where we were boredom eating chicken wings and chicken bites.

Tuesday was by far the best day. We went to Marineland in Palma Nova. As we walked in, a worker shoved a parrot on Jack’s arm and took a photo of us. We saw seals and penguins and sting rays and the biggest turtle I’ve ever seen as well as lots of smaller ones. We even saw a monkey and some snakes. There was a birds show that we watched, it featured various tropical birds, some who could speak, some who could do maths, and some that could dance. We also watched a sea lion show and a dolphin show. Both of which were incredible. In the dolphin show, one of the employees was propelled through the pool by two dolphins pushing his feet. Jack and I sat right at the front for these, and I came out soaked by the dolphins. The first of which I am certain angled himself perfectly to splash me on purpose. We got slushies in dolphin bottles which we then carried around all day hoping to keep them as mementos and then realising we’d probably lose them and never touch them again, so we chucked them. In the afternoon, we did mini golf. Jack won by 3 points, but we were both embarrassingly bad on a few of the holes.

Tuesday night we were back in Blackbeard’s, this time, sharing nachos and ribs rather than wings and burgers. And on the cocktails instead of Irn Bru. All of which amazing.

Wednesday was another quiet one. Day drinking at Bondi Beach, a place we’d gone to to start a night out on Saturday but hadn’t eaten in properly. The food wasn’t as good as we hoped it’d be and was incredibly overpriced. I also tried a Long Island Iced Tea for the first time, which I took a sip of and didn’t touch again.

Thursday, we took a two and a half hour bus journey across the island to Dinosaur land. Jack being an incredibly big nerd, adored. Me, it was cool, but I had much more interest in the caves next door which we didn’t end up doing because Jack revealed in the ticket queue he was scared of rowboats. The burgers at Dinosaurland were incredible though, and then that evening we were back in Taco Bell, which again was minging.

Our final day was the slowest day I’ve had in a very long time. Our transfer back to the airport wasn’t until 7pm, and we didn’t have all that much to do after checking out at midday. We got milkshakes and wandered back into Palma Nova to a cute little restaurant called The Olive Tree which my mum found for us. I had a Caesar salad, and Jack had yet another burger. We also had freshly made lemonade which was amazing. The rest of the day we just lounged around in the foyer of the hotel wishing the time to pass before getting the plane home ready to watch Eurovision last night. Which Finland definitely should’ve won, right?

Jack’s back in his own house now, and we’re both back at work tomorrow like our holiday had never even happened. Wishing the time away until the next one, which for me is 5 days in the forest trying to relax with our two dogs in an unfamiliar environment, Jinx for the first time. Jack’s week in Cornwall might be a little bit more relaxing.